There was a recent post on Reddit titled “TIFU my whole life. My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad”, where a guy posted details on how he had an awakening.
“Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realised I missed my father’s funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn’t complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties. If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face.”
He went on to talk about how he focused on financial security, and let everything else he ever cared about, or should have cared about, slip away.
That alone was a cautionary tale that hit home, since I spent many years being hyper focused on building financial security, and not enough time on the people around me, and myself, too. Over the years, I achieved a degree of financial success that pleased me, but then I realized it’s all about your people and you.
It seems this guy reached a similar conclusion. That’s good, as it’s never too late for some things. But what really surprised me were a lot of the comments on various sites that wrote about his story.
A recurring theme was that this guy doesn’t have real problems, because he has money. That’s a myth.
If you are focused on attaining and obtaining what other people have or appear to have, you’re doing it wrong. As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And at the end of the day, joy, freedom, and self-worth are the currencies that matter.
Here are some suggestions to build your self-worth…
- Schedule time for friends and family
- Take care of your body and mind (exercise, hobbies, sleep, etc.)
- Learn new skills and open your mind to new ideas
- Create milestones to look forward to and celebrate
- Consider the advice of others, but make your own decisions
- Make a list of the things you enjoy doing, outsource the other stuff
- Acknowledge that you control your attitude and reactions
- Value your time and let others know that you do
- Take credit for your successes and your failures
Think about this quote from Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Are there people in that equation who bring down your average?
Don’t let other people define you or your success. That’s a privilege only you have, and you shouldn’t give it away. When you build up your self-worth, then you are rich.
This article appeared in issue 29 of FeedFront Magazine.