Shawn Collins' Blog

Affiliate marketing and other stuff from Shawn Collins, co-founder of Affiliate Summit.

Archives for April 2026

The Night the Fraternity House Went Up in Flames

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I graduated from the University of Maryland on May 20, 1993, and for the last two years of college, I lived in the Pi Kappa Alpha house at 4340 Knox Road.

The house was far from perfect, but it was home, and I was sad to move out and on to the real world. And then, a month after I graduated, the national fraternity took away our charter and sold the house. It was the end of an era, and it sucked.

“Now you can tear a building down

But you can’t erase a memory

These houses may look all run down

But they have a value you can’t see…”

– “Open Letter (to a Landlord)” by Living Colour

I’d go back to College Park to visit friends, and we usually ended up back on the porch of our old house, drinking a 40 of Private Stock. Some guys would sneak in and do some urban exploring, but mostly we just wanted to visit our old friend.

Sitting on the old steps one last time

That old house had a lot of personality and so many memories from over the years. Sure, there was usually no hot water, and I didn’t have a thermostat in either room I lived in. I lived on beds and couches passed down by guys graduating.

And our house smelled like stale beer, puke, weed, and industrial cleanser. There was no air conditioning, lots of roaches and rats, and the bathrooms were straight out of a crackhouse, but it sure was charming in its own way. Plus, we could see how long the line was to get into the Vous from the front porch.

PiKA in the snow

Even though our chapter, Delta Psi, of Pi Kappa Alpha, had lost the charter in 1993, I held out hope that one day the chapter would recolonize and buy back the house, so we’d all have a place to gather and visit for Homecoming and other occasions.

While there were some bad days there as a pledge, the house held so many good times, smiles, friends, and love. It was too special to just go away for good.

“I’ll tell you this – I’m gonna get my kicks before the whole shithouse goes up in flames!”

– Jim Morrison, The Doors

But the house was gone for good on Wednesday, March 29, 1995. A “suspicious fire” tore through the house, and it took about a dozen fire departments and 80 firefighters to extinguish it. That was the official end.

The Diamondback newspaper on March 30 1995

This house, which meant so much to so many for generations, was just gone one day. The whole thing was erased to make way for a generic apartment building for rich kids.

The empty lot at 4340 Knox Road

It didn’t seem real. This house that I was scared to walk into during rush in the fall of 1988, and then, scared again for where my future was taking me, when I walked out for the final time in May 1993. It was just gone like it never existed.

“This is the house we used to live in

This is the place I used to know

This is the house we used to live in

Where I felt I could always go

House that we used to live in

House where I left my heart

House that we used to live in falling apart”

– “House We Used to Live In” by The Smithereens

But it will always be standing there in the hearts of so many of us. RIP Buzz Parker.

Originally published at https://shawncollins512.substack.com.

Greek Weeks Were My Favorite Weeks in College

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Springtime in college meant fraternities pairing up with sororities for Greek Week, an annual, week-long tradition filled with parties, philanthropy, and various competitions.

In spring 1991, at the University of Maryland, Pi Kappa Alpha (?KA) asked Kappa Alpha Theta (KA?) to partner, and then my pledge brother Joe Incaprera and I ran as co-Greek Week chairs to organize the week’s events with Theta.

Shawn playing the bongos during Greek Week

Joe and I put together a couple of fliers for the Greek Week chair election, and we went on to get elected to handle the Greek Week festivities.

Shawn and Inky for Greek Week Co-Chairs part 1

Shawn and Inky for Greek Week Co-Chairs part 2

After the election, we got together with our fellow chair on the Theta side, Kathleen Gamboa, and started making plans. There were lots of fun events like kickball, ultimate, chariot races, and a carnival, as well as a philanthropy event where members of the fraternity and sorority served as huggers at the Special Olympics. But, really, the focus was on a week of parties.

Pi Kappa Alpha Theta 1991 Greek Week Chairs

We put together a schedule with one or more parties every day for six days. Things kicked off with an opening bash at a local firehouse, and continued with four-way and six-way parties packed with kegs, live music, and revelry. The week of parties wrapped up with WHFS DJ Neci spinning records at the PiKA house.

1991 Greek Week schedule

Throughout the week, we may have won some stuff. I don’t actually remember, but we had a lot of fun. I don’t think we ever won overall Greek Week in the five springs I was there. I still have some beach scopes from the week – I guess we sold them as fundraisers.

Pi Kappa Alpha Theta scopes

On the Friday night of Greek Week, I had to sneak out from some of the nighttime partying to go see the Dead Milkmen at the Student Union. I tried to convince them to come back to the house to party, but they had to head on to their next city.

Shawn Collins Joe Genaro and Chris Banko

I think I took this last picture during the dance or lip-sync contest at Ritchie Coliseum. I’d like to say I applied some sort of artistic treatment to make some or most of the stuff look blurry and frenzied, but I just had a crappy camera.

Pi Kappa Alpha Theta mayhem

Those weeks were some of my favorites, except for when I’d trade a set of letters to some random person and never see them again. But I always gained a Greek Week t-shirt to add to my giant collection of frat t-shirts.

Originally published at https://shawncollins512.substack.com.

I Got Arrested at the Fraternity Pledge Camping Trip

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It was just weeks after I became a pledge when I saw a sign at the frat house about a pledge camping trip. I’d never gone camping before, so I was pretty excited. Each pledge had to bring a case of beer for the weekend.

We drove from the University of Maryland out to western Maryland at some campsite. There were two other groups there for the weekend, a couple of families with campers and some Boy Scouts.

After getting our tents set up, we started pounding beers, eating hot dogs and hamburgers, and having a good time overall. But as it got late, one of the brothers lashed out at the pledges because we’d run out of beer and food. We brought the beer we were asked to bring and had nothing to do with the food, but getting blamed for stuff that wasn’t our fault was something I was already used to.

Shawn Collins University of Maryland ID

Everyone was drunk, so nobody was driving anywhere to find more food and beer, even if there was anyplace open by then. I went with my dorm roommate and pledge brother, Scott, to wander around, and we decided we’d grab some alcohol and food from a cooler at the neighboring camp.

We came back as heroes with a couple of steaks, some ham, beer, and wine coolers. Brothers were happy, and we went to sleep.

The next morning, we woke up to a bunch of yelling and peeked out of our tent to see a park ranger shouting at some brothers. The campers we’d robbed had reported it, and the park ranger came over to our camp, since he figured the frat boys were more likely to be the culprits than some literal Boy Scouts.

I was ready to keep my mouth shut until the park ranger said that if no one came forward to take responsibility for the theft, our whole group would have to go home. Everyone in our group knew who took the stuff, so I didn’t have much choice but to admit what I’d done.

The park ranger took us to apologize to the victims of the theft, and we did our best to smooth things over. Those people were understandably pissed off, but they said they were not going to press charges.

We were free and clear… until the park ranger said he was going to press charges on behalf of the state. He took us back to the station and told us we were arrested and would have to go to court.

I’m pretty sure he never read our Miranda rights, and he didn’t take mugshots, but we were in the system. He took us back to the campsite and said we’d have to leave immediately. Luckily, a pledge brother had to drive back to campus for his job, so we were able to jump in for the ride.

I got punished for it at a “Pledge Advisory Board,” but then things returned to normal, and I forgot about the impending court case until I checked my mail at the dorm one day and opened a summons to appear in court a few days before Christmas.

My summons to appear in the District Court of Maryland

I was the dangerous combination of arrogant and ignorant, and figured I’d just have to go to court, and it would all go away. I didn’t tell my dad, and I didn’t ask for a public defender until days before. They told me it was too late, and I’d have to defend myself.

I used to watch the old movie Inherit the Wind with my dad, so I figured I had a grasp of the legal system and could do the pro se thing in court.

When it came time for the court date, my co-defendant told me he was going to skip it and go home for Christmas. My pledge educator, Brad, also got a summons to appear, so I asked if he could drive me. He wasn’t happy.

On the day of the case, we got there with minutes to spare, and I sprinted into the courtroom for my case. Flustered and sweaty, I took a seat in the back.

The case before mine was a local teenager who was arrested for the second time for dealing drugs. Judge David Young was conversational and kind with the teen and gave him 50 hours of probation. The judge said he knew this kid was trying to improve himself by getting involved at the local boxing gym.

This was going to be a cakewalk. I’d probably get 10 hours of community service, knock it out, and be done.

But the judge was immediately antagonistic with me for not having a lawyer, and for my co-defendant failing to show. He lectured me for being this kid from the big city coming out and ruining the peace and way of life in the local campground.

I was shaking at this point, and felt like I was going to faint as he read out the sentence. I was going to have to pay $145 in restitution to one victim and another $100 to the other.

Somehow, the food and drinks weren’t the only items they claimed we took. I was also on the hook for some fishing equipment. Now, I did take the food and booze, and that was a stupid thing to do, but I didn’t touch the fishing equipment, and I have no idea how that got included.

Also, I would have to spend the next year completing 500 hours of community service under a Probation Before Judgment (PBJ) ruling, and then my record would be expunged.

My order for probation enhanced

Scott didn’t show, and he would only get in trouble if the police picked him up for something else. That was horseshit, and it reminded me of a Billy Bragg lyric from his song, Rotting on Remand:

I said there is no justice

As they led me out of the door

And the Judge said, “This isn’t a court of justice, son

This is a court of law.”

That was a fun Christmas, as I had to explain to my dad that I needed a ride to see my probation officer and that I’d also need to borrow $245 to pay the victims. The cherry on top was telling him I’d earned a 1.0 GPA after that bad news.

He was angry, and I was miserable. My dad said I should look into joining the U.S. Army, since I wasn’t cut out for college.

It was a tense winter break, and all I had to look forward to was Hell Week before the next semester started with me on academic probation. I did get a letter from one of the guys I’d stolen from, and that made me feel a little better.

Letter from guy I stole food and drinks from

After my visit to the Prince George’s County Probation Officer, I was assigned to work at the University of Maryland Physical Plant on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:00 AM to 3:30 PM, as well as working spring break, summer, etc., to complete my 500 hours before the end of 1989.

This was in addition to working at the campus gym during school, bussing tables at a sorority, and taking a full course load.

It sucked a lot. I was spending each weekend with a bunch of guys who thought it was hilarious that they were getting paid to sleep in their truck while I did all of the work.

It sucked so much that I wrote a letter to the Governor of Maryland, William Donald Schaefer, begging for leniency. He responded that he thought the judge made a fair decision.

Letter back from Governor William Donald Schaefer

I finished my community service hours during winter break at the end of 1989 with a week of “volunteering” at a local nursing home. That was a lot easier than being a garbage man, but pretty sad, too.

I’d also gotten my grades up enough that I didn’t have to join the army, which I really felt good about when the Gulf War broke out in 1990.

Scott didn’t show up for Hell Week and wasn’t arrested in Maryland, so he wasn’t punished at all. And I didn’t even get any of the steak, ham, beer, or wine coolers that night.

I tell this story to people, and they never believe that I got 500 hours for this crime. But you know now, because you’ve seen the documents.

Originally published at https://shawncollins512.substack.com.

My Most Compromising Gen X Photo

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I don’t think I had a camera in college. If I did, it was rarely used, because I didn’t have the money to get film processed. So, most of the pictures I have from those five years are the fraternity and sorority event photos.

Hank and I at the fall 1988 Pi Kappa Alpha Christmas/Graduation Formal

I have a whole photo album of these types of pictures, but just a handful of non-event snapshots from 1988-93.

Gen Xers like to reminisce about not having cameras around all the time when we were growing up, so we wouldn’t have embarrassing images or even ones that could be a liability in our personal lives.

And yes, it’s a good thing those pictures don’t exist, because we were getting naked a lot in college. I can remember at least half a dozen times when I was in public without clothes on during my college days.

While I was pledging, we were nude a few times, including when we took a bonding photo of my pledge class on and around the University of Maryland Testudo statue (our Terrapin mascot) in front of McKeldin Library. While we posed, some brothers disappeared with our clothes, so we had to make our way across campus completely naked – 30 or so naked guys sprinting in the cold.

And another time, we did a “Love Run” at the Sigma Kappa (?K) sorority. Again, my pledge class ran around naked, but this time in a house full of sorority girls. Brothers stole our clothes as we made our way through the sorority, and we had to run home naked.

As a brother, I ended up getting lavaliered twice and pinned once to girlfriends, and each time I’d be grabbed off the street by pledges and tied naked to the anchor in front of the Delta Gamma (??) sorority. Then the girlfriend would have to come and untie me.

There are no photos of any of these events, as far as I know, but another time, when I was in my birthday suit, I was captured on film, and I didn’t find out until months later.

Shawn Collins fall 1992 after pledge skipout

I was elected President of Pi Kappa Alpha (?KA) at the University of Maryland for the fall 1992 semester. We had a tradition where pledges would kidnap the new president, get them very drunk, and deliver them back to their room many hours later.

After lots and lots of drinks, I guess I passed out along the way. That’s when the pledges “smurfed” me. I think this must have gotten the name in the past because passed-out guys were painted blue. But when I was in college, “smurfing” meant someone was passed out and had stuff written all over them in marker.

Anyhow, I guess I needed to pee after getting back to the fraternity house, so I wandered into the bathroom and dropped my boxers, since I couldn’t stand up straight. Someone snapped a picture and gave it to me months later, when they developed their film. I don’t even remember who took the photo.

Late that night/morning, naked, covered in marker, and having a couple of scraped knees, my phone rang. Some townies had parked in our house parking lot, and we had a tow company that would come by and give a heads up that they were towing cars parked illegally.

I went out to see the tow truck driver, still oblivious to the ink on my body and face, and the driver laughed and asked what the hell I was up to. I looked in his sideview mirror, and my head pounded as I squinted at my messed-up reflection.

It took many showers to get all of the marker off my skin. I think I skipped class the next day, due to my jacked-up appearance and torturous hangover. But I got a cool picture out of it.

Originally published at https://shawncollins512.substack.com.

I Was a Sorority Busboy During College

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Bundy and Shawn grilling at Theta

I paid my way through college with a combination of a Stafford Loan and working menial jobs. But often, there were shortfalls, and I couldn’t afford some expenses that would come up, like food.

Fortunately, when I was a fraternity pledge in the first semester of my freshman year, I was sent to cover for one of the brothers as a busboy for a sorority. I went there and worked for about an hour and a half, setting up tables, serving food, bussing tables, and cleaning dishes, pots, and pans, in exchange for a hot meal.

After my first semester, I moved into an apartment and no longer had a meal plan, so I had to figure out a way to eat. In addition to being cash poor, there were no grocery stores near campus, and I didn’t have a car.

So, I headed over to the Alpha Chi Omega (AX?) sorority house and asked about being a busboy, and my “will work for food” side hustle got started. Some sororities paid the busboys money in addition to food, but I was just getting food, and that was fine because I was working at my girlfriend’s sorority.

My fraternity house didn’t have a dining option. The story I was told as a pledge was that there was once a kitchen that burned down, and they turned the area into another bar. Whatever the reason, we didn’t have a kitchen, so many of the sorority busboys were my brothers. That was a good time.

That also led to some hijinks, as we would sometimes try to finish early so we could sneak off with some eggs, tomatoes, and stuff from the kitchen and ambush our brothers at other sororities as they left their busboy jobs.

When we weren’t grabbing food from the kitchen to throw at our brothers, we’d also put good food in garbage bags and put the bags outside to take home after we got off. It was a nice, if disreputable, way to get some staples to bring home, since we only had the option to work on weekdays, at lunch, and dinner.

Sometimes, when there was a rush event or something, we’d be put into service as cooks, too. Well, not in the kitchen. We’d be outside grilling hot dogs and hamburgers. It was a lot of fun meeting everyone in the sorority and eating real food, because ramen or mac and cheese without milk or butter got really old.

During my time at AX?, I was voted as the “sweetheart” and got to be on their composite.

Alpha Chi Omega at University of Maryland 1991

The guy who was picked the year before had his name listed with his first initial, and then his middle and last name. That seemed cheesy and pretentious to me, so I figured I’d follow suit and have my name listed as “S. Brendan Collins.” It was a dopey inside joke that only made sense to me, but I enjoyed it.

S. Brendan Collins is a real sweetheart

There were times when the girls would forget we were there, as we worked in the background, and we’d hear some spicy gossip. When dated parties and formals came along, available busboys were default dates for girls who didn’t have one at the last minute.

After a breakup with my girlfriend, it was awkward to continue bussing at her sorority, so I bounced around at some other houses before ending up at Kappa Alpha Theta (KA?) for the rest of college.

The menus were pretty similar at each sorority, and I remember one in particular that I didn’t like was veggie lasagna. It tasted fine, though not as good as lasagna with meat. Without that protein, I would feel hungry again hours later.

Before I started working as a busboy, I was pissed off that I had to work for food in addition to my regular jobs at school, but in the end, I made some of my best memories during those lunches and dinners.

Originally published at https://shawncollins512.substack.com.